Diary of Balaji R

Award Winning Joke

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 10:59:56 +0530

This particular joke won an award
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>for the best joke competition Organized in Britain:
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>A man walks into a bar in London and ordered 3-glasses of beer
>and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in
>turn.
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>When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more.
>The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in
the
>glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time."
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>The man replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in
>Dubai, the other in Canada and I'm here in London.
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>When they left home, we promised that we'll drink this way to remember
>the days when we drank together.
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>The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there.
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>The man became a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.
>He order 3-Beers and drinks them in turn.
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>One day, he came in and ordered only 2-Beers All the other regulars
>notice and fall silent.
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>When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender
says,"
>I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere
>condolences on your great loss. "
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>The man looked confused for a moment, and then he laughs .... "Oh, no,"
>he, said, "Everyone's fine - both my brothers are alive" ..
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>" The only thing is
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> I just quit drinking!!!

Fun

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 14:53:09 +0530

There was a couple married for quite some time and they had a boy of 5-6 years old. Their relationship was turning sour. So finally it reached such a stage that they
thought it was better for them to be divorced than carry on such a relationship. So they consulted a lawyer. But the big question was who would have the kid. In the hearing in the court; it was decided that this choice should be left on the kid. So the judge asked "Son would you like to stay with your mummy?" Kid said, "No, mummy beats me." So the judge asked "Then, would you like to stay with your papa then? Kid said, "No, papa beats me."
Now the judge was in a dilemma and was not able to decide what to do... after pondering for some time he smiled with the ideas he had in his mind
about the child...... And he gave the judgment that the kid would stay with......Any guesses????? ???
Come on I know you can make it......
Ok here goes the answer. <<<<>
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>The kid would stay with the Indian Cricket Team because they
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>NEVER BEAT ANYBODY !!
>Hoo ha India ....!!!! ;)))))))))))))))))

Happiness is a voyage, not a destination.

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 17:00:37 +0530

There is no better time to be happy than. NOW!

Live and enjoy the moment.

Now, think and try to answer these questions:
1 Name the 5 richest people in the world.
2 Name the last 5 Miss Universe winners.
3 Name the last 10 Nobel Prize winners.
4 Name the last 10 winners of the Best Actor Oscar

Can't do it? Rather difficult, isn't it?

Don't worry, nobody remembers that.

Applause dies away!

Trophies gather dust!

Winners are soon forgotten.

Now answer these questions:

1 Name 3 teachers who contributed to your education.

2 Name 3 friends who helped you in your hour of need.
3 Think of a few people who made you feel special.
4 Name 5 people that you like to spend time with.

More manageable? It's easier, isn't it?

The people who mean something to your life are not rated "the best", don't have the most money, haven't won the greatest prizes.

They are the ones who care about you, take care of you, those who, no matter what, stay close by.

Think about it for a moment.

Life is very short!

And you, in which list are you? Don't know?

A Mouse Trap

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 12:24:09 +0530

Mouse Story ...
A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package.
"What food might this contain?" The mouse wondered - he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.
Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning.
"There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"
The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."
The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"
The pig sympathized, but said, "I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers."
The mouse turned to the cow and said, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"
The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose."
So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap-- alone.
That very night a sound was heard throughout the house -- like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey.
The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught.
The snake bit the farmer's wife.
The farmer rushed her to the hospital and she returned home with a fever..
Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient.
But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.
The farmer's wife did not get well; she died.
So many people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.
The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.
So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, remember -- when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk. We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.

My Friend

Sun, 17 Dec 2006 10:59:34 +0530

My Friend when I think of you.
I think of all that we've been through.
All the times we argue and forget,
I know deep inside that it isn't right.
I, then feel bad and alot of pain.
It feels like I've fallen from the sky like the rain.
I love you dear friend with all of my heart.
But now that you're gone I've fallen apart.
I'll be better as the days go by.
I wish sometimes this was all a big lie.
I pray to you every night.
It's like you're my fire, a burning light.
My dear friend, I miss you alot.
I still wonder why you were put in that spot.
I hope you'll be in a place much better than here.
Watching and helping me with all of my fear.
Our friendship my dear friend,
we will have to the end.
Friends til the end is what we will be.
Someday we'll be together,
together you and me.

Hello - Lionel richie

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 17:24:08 +0530

College time favourites

I've been alone with you
Inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips
A thousand times
I sometimes see you
Pass outside my door
Hello!
Is it me you're looking for?
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted
And my arms are open wide
Because you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much
I love you

I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again
How much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello!
I've just got to let you know
Because I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying I love you

Hello!
Is it me you're looking for?
Becuase I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying I love you

Suddenly - Billy Ocean

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 17:12:14 +0530

My College days favourites

I used to think that love was just a fairy tale
Until that first hello until that first smile
But if I had to do it all again I wouldn't change a thing
Cause this love is everlasting

Suddenly life has new meaning to me
There's beauty up above and things we never take notice of
You wake up suddenly you're in love

Girl you're everthing a man could want and more
One thousand words are not enough to say what I feel inside
Holding hands as we walk along the shore
Never felt like this before now you're all I'm living for

Each day I pray this love affair would last forever

There's beauty up above and things you never take notice of
You wake and suddenly you're in love

(Now i understand this applies to friendship as well)

20 truths about men

Tue, 12 Dec 2006 18:34:49 +0530

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest he is too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal.
16. If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach you're aiming too high.
18. Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he is.
19. Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men - a woman.
20. Husbands are like children - they're fine if they're someone else's.

(one censored)

closing my eyes - Peter Green

Sun, 10 Dec 2006 13:06:23 +0530

Now its the same as before
And Im alone again

With no sorrow for myself
And Im blaming no one else

And closing my eyes
And seeing you standing there

Now its the same as before
Youve touched me with your love

And though youre in my heart
Were still a world apart
As now Im back to the time
Where I would search for a dream
But no use to try anymore as before
Someday Ill die, and maybe then Ill be with you

So Im closing my eyes
To hear the people laugh

For theyre all aglow
Not knowing where to go

But is it asking too much
When the question is what to do
With the life Ill have
It seems I know nothing now
Except my love for you
And the strength in my hands
To go on feeding your smile

The Magic of Poverty

Sat, 09 Dec 2006 13:04:53 +0530

A birth in poverty is luck supreme!
A death in poverty, a great blessing;
A life of poverty is rare a dream;
Achievements great, stark poverty can bring.

'Tis poverty that goads nations do feats;
'Tis poverty that stimulates scientists;
In everything, poverty, wealth just beats;
The greatest men were in poverty's lists.

And poverty lessens our worries much;
Account to God will be much easier;
Poverty gives the saint a divine touch;
In poverty, poets can fly higher!

Poverty helps to shun worldly pleasures;
A soul in poverty, Heaven allures.

- Dr John Celes

POVERTY A BLESSING IN DISGUISE!!!!